Multiple Births

The planning comes before the birth actually happens. When the doctor reveals that there is more than one bundle of joy in the oven, that is the time to plan - not panic.

* Find support – This is usually in the form of childcare but also in the form of someone to watch the babies while you hang out with your spouse for a night or even a weekend if your sitter is ambitious.

* Discuss roles and feelings – Women are often the ones to stay home with the kids, especially if they nurse. The male partner works. Both are tired at the end of the day. The expectation of a clean house and dinner may have to wait. Understanding that at the outset avoids misunderstandings that can lead to hurt feelings.

* Use the bedroom for intimacy – This may be hard to do with multiple kids, but tending to your kids in their room or the other rooms in the house leaves your bedroom sacred for just the two of you. Leave your problems at the door and consider it a romantic place. Light candles, play soft music or give each other a massage to get “in the mood” after you put the kids down. Setting the mood can bring both of your in line with romantic feelings.

* Give each other space – Each person needs time with the kids and time alone. Since mom often spends most time with the kids, give her a break on the weekend so she can go collect her thoughts or just get some uninterrupted rest. She may want to take in a massage or beauty treatment to look good when she returns. As for him, he may need time to unwind when he gets home from work that doesn’t involve him doing anything but relaxing in front of the television.